Just saw a hilarious quote on bash.

Ar0uNd » Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad breath. This made him.... what?

--a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Don't know how many people will get it tho.

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An ode to receptionists

And so... i'm doing reception again
i am so sian, i mean i am man!
answer the phonecall, take message and all
i know i am cute, but damn i feel small.

so bored at work, still got shitloads to do,
go out for lunch, hear clarence got sued. (again)
come back to work, e-mail piling,
just got a call, for LO meeting.

10 more days, feels like years away,
but when it's over, will i be gay?
gay as in happy, not as in fag,
which is actually, synonym for snag.

now i will go,
time pass so slow.
deplorable is,
my english to singlish.

Thank you!

(Spoken in uppity English accent)

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But i'm still bored now leh. blog lo. Anyway, took my final theory test yesterday. And here's something useful for all aspiring drivers!.

-An excerpt from the bestselling book which will be released island-wide in the Summer of 2008 - "How to pass your driving and other superfluous tips only a retard would need and read" by Christopher Wan, author extraordinaire and frequently unreliable fortune teller.

"Chapter XII - Passing your final theory test.

The keywords to look out for, in the gruelling and oft-confusing 50 question test is "Slow down and prepare to stop if necessary" Once you have seen that phrase, reading onwards is redundant. That is the right answer, regardless of what the question is.

You are thus guaranteed a minimum of at least 15 correct answers, making it that much harder to fuck up your test!

Also, it helps to bring a blue or black quill pen, as the advanced computerized test-taking system, initiated in the year 1856, continues to undergo rigourous testing for system integrity. In the meantime, all tests are being conducted via papyrus scrolls and oral recitation."

Wan, also a terrible poet, and recognised sexpert on widely stratified topics, including Engrish Literature, graciously takes the time to explain the true meaning of a oft-quoted phrase.

"Many educated scholars like to say "the pen is mighter than the sword", but that's just an excuse for pussies who can only talk and are scared of physical violence, which is actually a completely natural behavior. I mean, why do you think we have the instinctual physiological "fight-or-flight" response, and not "talk cock-or-run like cock."

The true quote is "the penis mighter than the sword", which i believe is self-explanatory and meaningful, even today. Simply a result of losing records over the years, and having an extra space inserted, to distort the whole meaning of a great, great sentence."

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End of rubbish. Yes i am bored.