Watched. A hell of a lot of movies over the last two days.
300, Goodfellas, The Machinist, Meet The Robinsons, Pursuit of Happiness, Donnie Darko, Memento and the illusionist.

Feeling strangely inspired now. and stoned.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I wish life was that simple again, back to an age of innocence. Growing up can really eat at you inside, more unpleasant things than not.

Just woke up after repeated wake-up calls, mind's still feeling very neanderthalish. Fuck, i need a smoke. Half feel like wishing someone'd put me out of my misery, half knowing i'm lucky to be even getting a couple hours sleep today, cos' for the rest of the week it's go go go.

I'm going to need stronger coffee and cigarettes. Isn't this how addictions gets worse, the same slide into dependency. Oh well. We only get to die once, might as well do it right.

I got new monitor!!!! Wahahaha!!!

22inch monster!

It's so big i need to lift up my mouse to scroll from one end of the screen to another.

1650 x 1400 pixels!!!!

In other news, i'm planning ways and means to fill up my vacation, going to finally start work on a fiscally profitable project, and my back is itching.

Yay. Had school from the last post. Didn't do much, as usual. The homeboys came over on tuesday to ton. Resulting in little sleep, never do work, just warhammer. Whee.

Missed out on submitting my assignment but we just don't care!

The important thing is, Ahmad and I discovered the kickass granddaddy of all time aeroplane games! RAIDEN III!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't you tell where, otherwise you will go and play also then we need to queue up. Next time we go jurong point, star arcade level 3, we'll change 20bucks each and play non-stop!


And a pic of st. michael kicking satan's ass. Need to find olde drawings and stuff depicting the falling out of angels and the war in heaven.


Listening to:
John Legend - We Just Don't Care

13th March - Pic from one of our lectures. If someone did a montage it would show steadily decreasing attendance from a full room. Anyway...

Truly effective speaking...

On a side note i like the guy's shirt, in case cannot see, it' a monkey shitting on the toilet bowl. Damn cute!!!

14th March - celebrated soon heng the roommate's birthday at imm.

Edwin the Ediot go and buy a dunno how many kg cake for 6 of us to eat. Packed full of chocolate which i don't eat. So after one slice my hands were shaking already.

The others there were Collin the chinese medicine man, Rong Ming the eat-food-80%-drops-back-on-the-plate boy, and Hui Shan the mids chio bu.

Happy birthday pooi heng!

15th March - the day i died a little more inside.

16th March - Went out with the homeboys (term coined by haSlinda) again and picked up a stray. Finally finalizing the design for my broken angel. Sunday's the day hopefully! Went for a run in the morning and a drink at fong-i-rip-u-off-seng. Ran thru N U S hoping to impress hot chicks with our lean sweaty bodies but all we got was a trio of fuglians. Bleah. Truly youcanhaveanygirlyouwantexceptthegirlyouwant.

17th March - went to apply for job with the stray at num as promoter/graphic designer/writer. wheee. apply for fun only la! never work! (disclaimer that i am not, not going to, never will, moonlight!)

homeboys again. emo the whole day but luckily i have my therapeutic gay blog to vent. watched blood and chocolate - this weird werewolf show which is quite funny.

Marcus was late, so we had to leave a ticket at the usher's station for him. One of the ushers told us that we could do that and leave a name so that he'd collect it after that...

Friendly Usher: You can just tell me and i'll write down his name for him when he reaches.

Me: Jackass.

Ahmad: Faggot.

Me + Ahmad: Asshole. Yeah asshole's good.

Friendly Usher: What? *chuckling*

Me: Yep, asshole. He's an asshole. Don't worry he won't be offended.

Ahmad: When he comes, just ask "are you asshole?"

Friendly Usher: Okay!

Good times.... so we go in, and later we find out from marcus the following conversation:

Marcus: Hi, i'm supposed to get a ticket here, for the show, my name's marcus...

Usher: I only have a ticket for asshole.

Marcus: Yep, that should be for me...

After tear the stub can only see ASSH-

Anyhow, after that we trooped down to our new favourite starbucks at the old singtel shop, which is perpetually populated by pretty people. Here are a few badly-disguised attempts at taking photos of some.

Besides the obvious one in the foreground, me, we were trying to get the two behind. And attempt number two...

Listening to:

Silje Nergaard - Be Still My Heart

Stars - Heart

Justincase - Without You

(Yes i'm still emo, i think my itunes senses my moods)

They say every cloud has a silver lining, and i'm finding mine right now.

Despite the fact that the girl that i love is currently ignoring me, for some reason i can't fathom; i'm finding my own peace in that. Haven't been going out, not even to meet up with the gang lately. Sorry guys!!

But, i've got lots of time lately to work shit out, not to mention that since i can't sleep every night now, i've got even more time. Clearing up my backlog of work, projects and homework, playing games and all in hall. Managed to go for my runs too, which is really refreshing. Luckily i have a high metabolism rate and my body type is the kind that shows muscle definition after light exercise. (No, it's not just the lighting!) The best part is, since i haven't gone out for like a week, i've been saving alot of money. Yay!

Listening to:
Diana Krall
Stars - Heart

Alright, I can say what you want me to;
Alright, i can do all the things you do;
Alright, i'll make it all up for you;
I'm still in love with you;
I'm still in love with you.

Sitting in heeren now with ahmad, waiting for marcus. dunno how come so long. Anyway, i'm having fun running around orchard trying to see where else got wireless connection. Damn suaku.

While we were in Liat Starbucsk earlier, we saw this really hot chick in a white low v-cut blouse, suspenders and bermudas come in to get coffee. So we spent like 10 minutes ogling her from our table. Best part is from our angle only i can see, cos' the other two seats blocked by pillar. Then, in order to prove we never grew up, he went to write some sappy note and his number, shyly walked over as we were leaving to drop it on her table. To top if off it was written on a starbucks serviette.

No pictures cos' we didn't get a chance to sneakily take one of her, cos' she kept looking at us also. Muahaha. Will update if she contacts him.

{Edit} Met up with marcus already, got a bigass gay balloon for him (cos' his birthday) and forced him to carry it around everywhere. Look how cute and happy he is!

The rest of the night went haywire. Went to another starbucks, this time at the old singtel shop next to heeren, realised that all starbucks in orchard road are chock full of hot chicks. Stare until no more bus home, then went smu to 'study'. End result about the same as the other day (see previous 07 March post)

okay. feeling better. fergie cheers me up! at least for now. music is the answer.
yesterday's session with the boys was great. played win lose or draw with them, some of the answers they came up with are.... unimaginable.

but they very the sad also la. in a capitalist meritocratic society like here, future's bleak unless they get a big break. most of them want to go back to school and all but mainstream schools rarely choose to accept them. Which is a shame, cos' for the most part they're great guys, except sometimes you don't know what they're thinking. sneaky sneaky!

anyhow, after class yesterday i rushed down to jp to meet wendy for dinner, cos' she sad again. plus was her birthday. don't know how to cheer her up or console her also so that was pretty awkward. Digressing; ran into Eng Kiong who's working at popular there. so if want 15% discount ask him.

going for class now. hollow inside. i don't know what to do. sometimes the sense of her is overwhelming. i wish i was forgetful and dumb. I want my broken winged angel!

It's 6am and my mind is still a blank. My mid-term's due in a few hours' time and i'm still stuck reading page 3 of my 15 page article. Convulated images are running through my head all the time, and i only get some respite from it all when i'm asleep.

Does she even think of me at all? When all i can think about is her.
I feel like Pip to her Estella. Maybe it's karma. The only regrets i have is about my past relationships, and hurting those i'm supposed to have loved.

Was talking with elvy earlier who astutely gave me some advice, about the prevalent misconception (i think) of my reputation and impression given to others as flirty and not serious about relationships. Maybe it's just me, but when i'm with friends i can be myself and talk about anything, but when i'm with someone i care about alot i'll sort of freeze up and be unable to express myself, afraid of doing or saying something wrong i guess. Irony.

However, she also thinks that cos' i joined two groups for social work in school i'm like trying to atone for mistakes of my 'dark past', and rightly, that i don't seem to fit in with them cos' our thinking is too different. I don't remember anything i've done that would compel me to do so, but then Freud would say my preconscious mind is in overdrive.

Bite me. Nietzche says god is dead. So carpe diem and que sera sera.

On a side note. a quote from Bash.org:

"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way.

This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you.

In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

Haven't been feeling well lately, then last night never sleep. Met marcus at jp to ton in hall, ostensibly to study. But when we meet up we never study 1.

Couldn't hold anything down the whole day, so when at jp i had to go eat porridge, which was pretty good. Then we went to buy supper. Couldn't decide on what to get so we just asked the auntie for 'one of everything except the yam'

Over $40 worth of consumables for supper.

After which, trooped down to one of the school benches cos' marcus said if got bed he will sleep. Found out that actually got bench also he will sleep. Didn't do much work cos' i was very listless. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't do anything actually. Just staring into space the whole night.

Luckily even though the fatass concussed i still had my other good friends there to accompany me for a few hours. Think i'm too dependent on cigarettes, but it's my sole solace in a soliloquy of sorrow.

Can't think or do anything now. but i got a mid-term due tomorrow and 2 essays to write by friday. Dammit. I'm dead inside now but my body doesn't know it yet.

I'm getting old. Never blog for a week plus and then i forget what happened in that week already. It was the study break week, and i really didn't do much. Mostly go out, go out, go out, sleep sleep sleep, eat eat eat.

Didn't study at all. Damn. Only thing i remember is it all went by so fast.

{Edit} Oh ya, now i remember. Apart from all the out here out there there was Re-connect! My poly course reunion, which i only popped by for like 15 mins cos' i was with Ms.'. Had to accompany her so i just went in to chat for a little while then came out le.
But i saw loads of old friends, long gone and forgotten. Managed to do a little catching up and all that with fellow polymates and lecturers. It was fantastic seeing them again, made me reminisce about life a few years back.

*Peter Griffin laugh* Hehehehehehe. Hehehehehe. Hehehehehehehehehehe.
i'm sitting in hall now irritating the fuck out of soon heng. cos' i found some idiot streaming en-dee-pee songs on his itunes. So i go and play the munnaaaeru valibai songs that type to piss him off while he's trying to study for test. Yay! It's the little things in life that make you happy! 5 stars arising!!!

Anyway, recently met up with janabanana, who's lost tonnes of weight. She's a stick-thin figure at 41kg. Madness la. Wind blow will fly that kind. Poor thing. NUS must be very stressful. met up with her to visit wendy cos' of sad sad thing. Wendy also not looking too good, very tired and all that, cos' of work + study and then haven't been sleeping for the past week.

Guess we're all getting old.

Okay back to work. Wish i was more hardworking and conscientious. While i'm at it, i wish i had many many money and no need to work. Then i don't really need to be hardworking and conscientious. Fuck, is the expression for how i'm feeling now.