Sunday
Went to jurong east library purportedly to do project, end up reading off abit of microfilms to get supporting articles for ICMT, then dinner... didn't do much and kinda wasted everyone's time today i think. Oh well, fun times with queers.
Met up with safuan to watch les fils du vent/the great challenge, the sequel to the kickass Yamakasi, the french movie with 7 jumping monkeys. Prime example of miscommunication. I told him i was at "Jurong library"... den he was rushing down and went to........ Boon Lay (Jurong Point). Guess i forgot to add an "East" to my description. Oh well, fun times with queers.
Anyway, we went in expecting an action show, with 'capoeira-esque' acrobatics and fighting.... but damn, the movie blew us away. The Great Challenge was so moving it actually made Saf cry! In all the years i've known him he's never cried, but after watching the movie...whoa man.
It was -h i la r i o u s-! Almost everyone on set, from the director to the gaffer must all be dead drunk for the duration of filming, except for the chereographer, who was fantastic. The film has absolutely no storyline, and horribly planned character development, and not much research either i think. It's super corny as well, totally retarded acting (at least it was consistent retardedness) and long panning shots of people walking from point A to B. Totally no link. After the movie we were laughing so damn hard Saf started crying. But the acrobatics was marvelous! Le Parkour!
Best part of the show is its multi-racial theme. There are
Mixed blood Eurasians and
French-speaking black,chinese and french guys, caught in between
Chinese triads and
Japanese Yakuza
in Bangkok, Thailand.
Think that through. Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Listening to:
Third Eye Blind - Wake For Young Souls
Finger Eleven - One Thing
John Mayer - Love Soon
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Oh wicked, it's been a week since i posted... been wasting my life away. Kinda losing interest in school stuff so everytime in project discussions or what not i can't wait to get away.
Been going out like everyday as well, just hanging out and chilling with friends. Madness. Anyway, my life is one of contradictions, my upbringing against my training, conflicted heart against rational brain, questions against certainties, emotions switching like a clock's pendulum.
What is it like to just let go? Before you learn anything, you just anyhow bom and let fly with everything you've got (talking in martial arts context), but once you start training, you learn limits, holding back, control, and to wear a mask. And never, -never-, get into a fight unless your life depends on it.
Sometimes i just wish i could cut loose and go all out, not worry an iota about anything for once. Just, be free. (general context now...) Waxing philosophy now: however, to be free also means free of emotions ma. So basically being totally free would mean to be devoid of emotions as well.
Dunno la, alot of pent up feelings, and i'm sick of always holding back. Oh well, so what can i do? Just make clouds. Heh.
Trying not to let someone affect me so much but failing miserably. Dying inside of more than one cause. I want to cry and laugh at the same time. Really extremes of emotions man...
Hahahaa oh yar i just remembered, today when i went out with CX, Fa Fa and fuckhead jethro for dinner and talk cock session, i almost got banged down, k not really, just knocked down maybe, by a car earlier. Then i was grinning at the woman in the passenger seat who was staring back at me with this absolutely horrified expression. I was smiling and wondering why i was smiling whenever this kind of thing happens. Think i don't treasure life enough.
Listening to:
Jessica Riddle - Even Angels Fall
Jack Johnson - Bubbletoes
Vanessa Carlton - White Houses
Been going out like everyday as well, just hanging out and chilling with friends. Madness. Anyway, my life is one of contradictions, my upbringing against my training, conflicted heart against rational brain, questions against certainties, emotions switching like a clock's pendulum.
What is it like to just let go? Before you learn anything, you just anyhow bom and let fly with everything you've got (talking in martial arts context), but once you start training, you learn limits, holding back, control, and to wear a mask. And never, -never-, get into a fight unless your life depends on it.
Sometimes i just wish i could cut loose and go all out, not worry an iota about anything for once. Just, be free. (general context now...) Waxing philosophy now: however, to be free also means free of emotions ma. So basically being totally free would mean to be devoid of emotions as well.
Dunno la, alot of pent up feelings, and i'm sick of always holding back. Oh well, so what can i do? Just make clouds. Heh.
Trying not to let someone affect me so much but failing miserably. Dying inside of more than one cause. I want to cry and laugh at the same time. Really extremes of emotions man...
Hahahaa oh yar i just remembered, today when i went out with CX, Fa Fa and fuckhead jethro for dinner and talk cock session, i almost got banged down, k not really, just knocked down maybe, by a car earlier. Then i was grinning at the woman in the passenger seat who was staring back at me with this absolutely horrified expression. I was smiling and wondering why i was smiling whenever this kind of thing happens. Think i don't treasure life enough.
Listening to:
Jessica Riddle - Even Angels Fall
Jack Johnson - Bubbletoes
Vanessa Carlton - White Houses
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Went beach today with ahmad and met assorted friends (chaota mango and lesbian partner, brian and many many who else) there... anyway, had fun running, bioing girls and swimming over to the small isle at siloso and sparring over there, now i have a bruised forearm and a cranky knee but still fun and games. Only through this kind of constant beating up each other can improve....so....anyone else want to spar? =D
After that the whole day kinda went downhill... but not disappointed because of the 'expectations' thing. if you have none you can't be disappointed. Heh. Now there's a party going on at my home and i'm in my room blogging... oh well.
Listening to:
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
Liz Phair - Why Can't I
After that the whole day kinda went downhill... but not disappointed because of the 'expectations' thing. if you have none you can't be disappointed. Heh. Now there's a party going on at my home and i'm in my room blogging... oh well.
Listening to:
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
Liz Phair - Why Can't I
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Go watch.
Wednesday was a pretty fun day, or was supposed 2 be... school for only one hour, den i was hanging around school hoping to see 'her', if only to say hi, didn't manage to, so off i went to the gym.
Damn, the martial arts community in Singapore is like really³ small. Fell into conversation with one of the personal trainers and realised we had a mutual friend, who i was training together with last time, one thing led to another, and we ended up trading tips and kicking pads for a while...
Being the humble person i am, of course i withheld my true power and didn't blow him away with my mighty jin gang tui(k la i nvr train damn long so i suck alot more now) , but DAMN, that made me realise i am very gian to go back in training... lacking in stability, the kind you get from hitting targets and bags on a regular basis. oh well...
Anyhoo, met up with ahmad after that, who made me wait for him for two hours, but as he was sending his gf, ada home, how can i be pissed if it's for love? hahaha! Watched the bourne supremacy, which is a pretty kickass film but with jerky camerawork.
jason bourne is damn cool, can plan and execute everything calmly even with a bullet in his shoulder. I learnt new ways to stalk people and burn down a house with nothing but a gas line, toaster and magazine...
"They don't make mistakes, nothing they do is random, everything they do has an objective, has a target." *paraphrased cos' i can't rem* So cool!!! i wanna be a cia assassin, failing that, the mythical ISD guy who goes around tapping political dissidents on the shoulder and saying 'excuse me, i'm from isd' is fine...
sigh, topic 3 for today's post, is....i can't stop thinking about her, all the time, during the storywriting in lecture, at the gym,in the movies, on the bus home, especially now, when i have nothing to occupy my mind with...
Don't know how things are going because i haven't has a chance to tell her how i feel about her... indeed, i haven't gone out with her for a looooooooong time now. I can only cherish the few moments i see her in school to carry me through the days, and pray for a smile as i gaze on that cherubic visage...
Listening to:
switchfoot - on fire
utada hikaru - first love
dishwalla - counting blue cars
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Hahahahahahahahahaha ran across this hilarious clip on kontraband.com.
How to deal with pesky neigbour's dog... watched this clip i couldn't stop laughing, check it out!
Had poly forum seminar thingy today, pretty disappointed at the level of discussion... cos' the questions asked were... surprisingly narrowminded and yet still managed to be out of point! Considering the theme, youth coming up into next gen of leadership, the questions put forth ranged the whole gamut from:
why no license plates starting with SEX,
to why only got mungens, and few mats in the army,
to why don't gahmen do more to support local "Insert generic special interests here, be it arts, entrepreneurship, or oddly enough, polytechnic scholarships and grants."
to, my personal favourite: is singapore at risk from JI sleeper cells and invasions by mad generals from neigbouring countries.
Why,Why,Whine. If you notice a similarity in the questions, they are all passive forms of criticizing the government's policies, and nothing actually to do with what WE (the youth) can do or need to learn in preparation for ruling/ruining the country in future. K the last one's just too dumb for me to comment on. Some questions were good but.........
.......overall, it's still damn suckass lor. You get the feeling people ask questions to act seh only, and they don't really give two thirds of a purple dinosaur whether their query is answered or not, they just want to go up and talk and show that they are 'keenly aware of global current affairs and local issues'.
Furthermore the facilitators and VIPs were all going 'oh you are the cream of the crop', 'student leaders in your own right' and shit like that. Wah lan eh KP sia. If i think the ppl going for PF is dumb, and i'm part of that group....damn!!! I'm dumb.
Oh well, more importantly, got a couple of chio bu in my group! Yay! Actually, not so yay, don't care about that anymore.
Listening to:
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
Dashboard Confessional - Rapid Hope Loss
Yellowcard - Only One (thx lin!)
How to deal with pesky neigbour's dog... watched this clip i couldn't stop laughing, check it out!
Had poly forum seminar thingy today, pretty disappointed at the level of discussion... cos' the questions asked were... surprisingly narrowminded and yet still managed to be out of point! Considering the theme, youth coming up into next gen of leadership, the questions put forth ranged the whole gamut from:
why no license plates starting with SEX,
to why only got mungens, and few mats in the army,
to why don't gahmen do more to support local "Insert generic special interests here, be it arts, entrepreneurship, or oddly enough, polytechnic scholarships and grants."
to, my personal favourite: is singapore at risk from JI sleeper cells and invasions by mad generals from neigbouring countries.
Why,Why,Whine. If you notice a similarity in the questions, they are all passive forms of criticizing the government's policies, and nothing actually to do with what WE (the youth) can do or need to learn in preparation for ruling/ruining the country in future. K the last one's just too dumb for me to comment on. Some questions were good but.........
.......overall, it's still damn suckass lor. You get the feeling people ask questions to act seh only, and they don't really give two thirds of a purple dinosaur whether their query is answered or not, they just want to go up and talk and show that they are 'keenly aware of global current affairs and local issues'.
Furthermore the facilitators and VIPs were all going 'oh you are the cream of the crop', 'student leaders in your own right' and shit like that. Wah lan eh KP sia. If i think the ppl going for PF is dumb, and i'm part of that group....damn!!! I'm dumb.
Oh well, more importantly, got a couple of chio bu in my group! Yay! Actually, not so yay, don't care about that anymore.
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you;
You are my only one.
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do;
You are my only, my only one
Listening to:
Alicia Keys - If I Ain't Got You
Dashboard Confessional - Rapid Hope Loss
Yellowcard - Only One (thx lin!)
Friday, September 10, 2004
Today is friday! the stars will come out today finally! Anyway, m now in school early for project meeting with class fags, so blogging now.
This whole holidays kinda like is do project week, machiam need to keep coming back to school so no difference. Sooo many many CAs, MIA, ICMT, CIBM, WFW to hand up within this week... sian ½.
But at least means i will be busy doing stuff so won't be thinking about her all de time..
Wednesday i went to act gay after our project meeting, and watched 13 going on 30 with my latest gay partner RunJian, cute show budden make me sad also... Hahaha melancholic at least.
After the movie, went to meet carol for a drink and chatted about lots of stuff. Nice meeting up again cos' even tho she's a pretty close fren of mine we haven't talked or gone out for a long ass time. Incidentally here's something for you to do: If you know Carol, the next time you see her, just give her 10cents, and tell her it's for the 'In The Name Of Love' fund.
Thursday went out with jana for a drink and met her 'dennis-sim-lookalike', chatted alot about alot of stuff again, and it's really really nice meeting up with old friends i haven't seen in like... months. Heh, maybe cos' such a long passage of time that's why got lots of stuff to talk about...
andrew joined us at the dubliner irish pub a while later, and then we went for supper at the meridien, talk a helluva lot of cock. Heh, now i kinda miss the old days when every1 from sparc would hang out and all... oh well.
Listening to:
Radiohead - No Surprises
Copeland - Coffee
Tao Ze - Regular Friends
This whole holidays kinda like is do project week, machiam need to keep coming back to school so no difference. Sooo many many CAs, MIA, ICMT, CIBM, WFW to hand up within this week... sian ½.
But at least means i will be busy doing stuff so won't be thinking about her all de time..
Wednesday i went to act gay after our project meeting, and watched 13 going on 30 with my latest gay partner RunJian, cute show budden make me sad also... Hahaha melancholic at least.
After the movie, went to meet carol for a drink and chatted about lots of stuff. Nice meeting up again cos' even tho she's a pretty close fren of mine we haven't talked or gone out for a long ass time. Incidentally here's something for you to do: If you know Carol, the next time you see her, just give her 10cents, and tell her it's for the 'In The Name Of Love' fund.
Thursday went out with jana for a drink and met her 'dennis-sim-lookalike', chatted alot about alot of stuff again, and it's really really nice meeting up with old friends i haven't seen in like... months. Heh, maybe cos' such a long passage of time that's why got lots of stuff to talk about...
andrew joined us at the dubliner irish pub a while later, and then we went for supper at the meridien, talk a helluva lot of cock. Heh, now i kinda miss the old days when every1 from sparc would hang out and all... oh well.
Listening to:
Radiohead - No Surprises
Copeland - Coffee
Tao Ze - Regular Friends
Monday, September 06, 2004
feeling really saaaad now. realise i'm actually a pretty anti-social bastard, like i just delete messages, don't return calls or anything from most people unless i need something from them too... it's like i'm turning into the kind of superficial person i despise...
Henceforth i shall make the effort to just call up old friends to say hey how are you! and take the initiative to keep in contact with people...
Budden that's not the reason i'm sad now... it's because of her (what else right?)... think i'm hoping for too much to come out of nothing. Anyway, she just said something that may seem pretty trivial to people, but it just made me feel the worst about myself since... god knows when... With just one sentence she can do that, wipe out my self-confidence and any happy feelings i had. She's the first person who can affect me so...
Am now thinking about what Ning said to me before. Anyways~
I just got home from sending her back and was feeling all shitty inside when i got a call from Haz at 12.20am, saying she not enough cash maybe to pay for supper at the 24Hrs prata place outside my house, so being the nice bloke i am, volunteered to walk out to bail her out.
Told my dad it'd be only 15 minutes, ended up sitting down and chatting with a bunch of people (haz, eva, ben, jacq and ifte) i dunno till about 2.30, when we move to my condo's swimming pool and talk till 6 in the morning. >_< but in all fairness i probably wouldn't have been able to sleep today anyway.
Soooo...ifte, jacq's bf, came over to talk to me about how crappy i'm feeling, and gave me the whole 'it's not worth it and u shld enjoy ur life more' spiel... and flirting tips. hahahahaha! yes, basically what ning told me but in a more 'guy' version. So yes, i shall try to heck care!
Lastly, meeting ahmad later for breakfast, hopefully can cheer him up cos' he's having a shitty time too. and maybe meeting runjian and his brother for movie if timing fits.
Listening to sad sounding songs:
X Japan - Tears (Windstruck OST and shut the fuck up alan. hahaha)
Jay Chou - Zhi Zhan Zhi Zhang
Oleander - I Walk Alone
Henceforth i shall make the effort to just call up old friends to say hey how are you! and take the initiative to keep in contact with people...
Budden that's not the reason i'm sad now... it's because of her (what else right?)... think i'm hoping for too much to come out of nothing. Anyway, she just said something that may seem pretty trivial to people, but it just made me feel the worst about myself since... god knows when... With just one sentence she can do that, wipe out my self-confidence and any happy feelings i had. She's the first person who can affect me so...
Am now thinking about what Ning said to me before. Anyways~
I just got home from sending her back and was feeling all shitty inside when i got a call from Haz at 12.20am, saying she not enough cash maybe to pay for supper at the 24Hrs prata place outside my house, so being the nice bloke i am, volunteered to walk out to bail her out.
Told my dad it'd be only 15 minutes, ended up sitting down and chatting with a bunch of people (haz, eva, ben, jacq and ifte) i dunno till about 2.30, when we move to my condo's swimming pool and talk till 6 in the morning. >_< but in all fairness i probably wouldn't have been able to sleep today anyway.
Soooo...ifte, jacq's bf, came over to talk to me about how crappy i'm feeling, and gave me the whole 'it's not worth it and u shld enjoy ur life more' spiel... and flirting tips. hahahahaha! yes, basically what ning told me but in a more 'guy' version. So yes, i shall try to heck care!
Lastly, meeting ahmad later for breakfast, hopefully can cheer him up cos' he's having a shitty time too. and maybe meeting runjian and his brother for movie if timing fits.
Listening to sad sounding songs:
X Japan - Tears (Windstruck OST and shut the fuck up alan. hahaha)
Jay Chou - Zhi Zhan Zhi Zhang
Oleander - I Walk Alone
Saturday, September 04, 2004
Yo update!
Lessee... lots of new songs.... thanks to alan sending me jay chou's new album, people who send me songs and ereen's blog which has a really really really super cute song that just gets better each time i hear it...
Whole week never do any work....but everything worked out. Crapped out a pretty good MIA paper in 1 day, thanks to my dad who's so damn smart. He gave me plenty of insanely logical arguments and examples, maybe a little unrelated, but the principle is there.
Thursday - Had to rush because i was meeting 'her' fo a movie, Quill. My god, terence was right. He told me when he watched, at the end of the movie can hear all the tissue packets opening and the whole cinema crying... then really after the show got sia...hahahaha it was hilarious! So many people crying after the movie... den i felt quite bad for laughing afterwards but nvm...
... saw huishi and fren there (who also cried), who has since graduated and is now working at the Life shop or something at raffles selling furniture but the point is for some reason or other her voice and mannerism suddenly reminded me of a classmate of mine...
Michelle. *Thunderclap* *Shudder* (Hope she doesn't see this. >_<)
AAAAAnyways, i'm falling more and more in love with her every time i see her... (my dream girl, not michelle!). was going to put down more mushy stuff here, but i can't really express how i feel, into words so........ you geddit.
Friday was a rushed day... blew through ICMT tutorial, then proceeded to start, on my CDA presentation for the Flash game. Fastforward 4 hours and i have a "tiny, wimpish" (Actual quote of CDA lecturer) presentation board... Ended up going for class late and kena having to present first! Heng i was in the toilet so i went like... third instead...
All things considered, i think can pass la, didn't botch it that badly... was pretty flustered while presenting so didn't manage to say all the points i wanted to... happily tho, my bullshit was mistaken for 'cool, intelligent answers' (Actual quote again.)
To end off, i miss her, didn't get to see her today so i'm feeling a bit down... oh well there's always the music...
Listening to:
1st Ladi - Never be replaced (Heard it on Ereen's blog... gogogo! You'll probably leave your IE open just to hear the song on loop)
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
Jay Chou - Yuan You Hui
Lessee... lots of new songs.... thanks to alan sending me jay chou's new album, people who send me songs and ereen's blog which has a really really really super cute song that just gets better each time i hear it...
Whole week never do any work....but everything worked out. Crapped out a pretty good MIA paper in 1 day, thanks to my dad who's so damn smart. He gave me plenty of insanely logical arguments and examples, maybe a little unrelated, but the principle is there.
Thursday - Had to rush because i was meeting 'her' fo a movie, Quill. My god, terence was right. He told me when he watched, at the end of the movie can hear all the tissue packets opening and the whole cinema crying... then really after the show got sia...hahahaha it was hilarious! So many people crying after the movie... den i felt quite bad for laughing afterwards but nvm...
... saw huishi and fren there (who also cried), who has since graduated and is now working at the Life shop or something at raffles selling furniture but the point is for some reason or other her voice and mannerism suddenly reminded me of a classmate of mine...
Michelle. *Thunderclap* *Shudder* (Hope she doesn't see this. >_<)
AAAAAnyways, i'm falling more and more in love with her every time i see her... (my dream girl, not michelle!). was going to put down more mushy stuff here, but i can't really express how i feel, into words so........ you geddit.
Friday was a rushed day... blew through ICMT tutorial, then proceeded to start, on my CDA presentation for the Flash game. Fastforward 4 hours and i have a "tiny, wimpish" (Actual quote of CDA lecturer) presentation board... Ended up going for class late and kena having to present first! Heng i was in the toilet so i went like... third instead...
All things considered, i think can pass la, didn't botch it that badly... was pretty flustered while presenting so didn't manage to say all the points i wanted to... happily tho, my bullshit was mistaken for 'cool, intelligent answers' (Actual quote again.)
To end off, i miss her, didn't get to see her today so i'm feeling a bit down... oh well there's always the music...
Listening to:
1st Ladi - Never be replaced (Heard it on Ereen's blog... gogogo! You'll probably leave your IE open just to hear the song on loop)
Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
Jay Chou - Yuan You Hui