It's 6am and my mind is still a blank. My mid-term's due in a few hours' time and i'm still stuck reading page 3 of my 15 page article. Convulated images are running through my head all the time, and i only get some respite from it all when i'm asleep.
Does she even think of me at all? When all i can think about is her.
I feel like Pip to her Estella. Maybe it's karma. The only regrets i have is about my past relationships, and hurting those i'm supposed to have loved.
Was talking with elvy earlier who astutely gave me some advice, about the prevalent misconception (i think) of my reputation and impression given to others as flirty and not serious about relationships. Maybe it's just me, but when i'm with friends i can be myself and talk about anything, but when i'm with someone i care about alot i'll sort of freeze up and be unable to express myself, afraid of doing or saying something wrong i guess. Irony.
However, she also thinks that cos' i joined two groups for social work in school i'm like trying to atone for mistakes of my 'dark past', and rightly, that i don't seem to fit in with them cos' our thinking is too different. I don't remember anything i've done that would compel me to do so, but then Freud would say my preconscious mind is in overdrive.
Bite me. Nietzche says god is dead. So carpe diem and que sera sera.
On a side note. a quote from Bash.org:
"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you.
In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."
Does she even think of me at all? When all i can think about is her.
I feel like Pip to her Estella. Maybe it's karma. The only regrets i have is about my past relationships, and hurting those i'm supposed to have loved.
Was talking with elvy earlier who astutely gave me some advice, about the prevalent misconception (i think) of my reputation and impression given to others as flirty and not serious about relationships. Maybe it's just me, but when i'm with friends i can be myself and talk about anything, but when i'm with someone i care about alot i'll sort of freeze up and be unable to express myself, afraid of doing or saying something wrong i guess. Irony.
However, she also thinks that cos' i joined two groups for social work in school i'm like trying to atone for mistakes of my 'dark past', and rightly, that i don't seem to fit in with them cos' our thinking is too different. I don't remember anything i've done that would compel me to do so, but then Freud would say my preconscious mind is in overdrive.
Bite me. Nietzche says god is dead. So carpe diem and que sera sera.
On a side note. a quote from Bash.org:
"A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you.
In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."
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