feeling really saaaad now. realise i'm actually a pretty anti-social bastard, like i just delete messages, don't return calls or anything from most people unless i need something from them too... it's like i'm turning into the kind of superficial person i despise...

Henceforth i shall make the effort to just call up old friends to say hey how are you! and take the initiative to keep in contact with people...

Budden that's not the reason i'm sad now... it's because of her (what else right?)... think i'm hoping for too much to come out of nothing. Anyway, she just said something that may seem pretty trivial to people, but it just made me feel the worst about myself since... god knows when... With just one sentence she can do that, wipe out my self-confidence and any happy feelings i had. She's the first person who can affect me so...

Am now thinking about what Ning said to me before. Anyways~

I just got home from sending her back and was feeling all shitty inside when i got a call from Haz at 12.20am, saying she not enough cash maybe to pay for supper at the 24Hrs prata place outside my house, so being the nice bloke i am, volunteered to walk out to bail her out.

Told my dad it'd be only 15 minutes, ended up sitting down and chatting with a bunch of people (haz, eva, ben, jacq and ifte) i dunno till about 2.30, when we move to my condo's swimming pool and talk till 6 in the morning. >_< but in all fairness i probably wouldn't have been able to sleep today anyway.

Soooo...ifte, jacq's bf, came over to talk to me about how crappy i'm feeling, and gave me the whole 'it's not worth it and u shld enjoy ur life more' spiel... and flirting tips. hahahahaha! yes, basically what ning told me but in a more 'guy' version. So yes, i shall try to heck care!

Lastly, meeting ahmad later for breakfast, hopefully can cheer him up cos' he's having a shitty time too. and maybe meeting runjian and his brother for movie if timing fits.

Listening to sad sounding songs:
X Japan - Tears (Windstruck OST and shut the fuck up alan. hahaha)
Jay Chou - Zhi Zhan Zhi Zhang
Oleander - I Walk Alone